Songs about Jaim: April 2005

Busy Bee

Last week was overwhelming, but I managed to make it. Josh broke up with me on Monday night, but its Saturday and I'm already okay with it. . .so I guess that's good. He was a great boyfriend, but I guess its for the best since he wasn't ready to give me what I deserve. I do miss him still, but it's time to move on. All I know is it's going to take the next guy a really long time to get near my heart. I'm definitely more skeptical now.

Last week I also had a lot of homework, and a exam on Thursday in Surface Chem which kicked my ass. I have also been working as hard as possible getting something to work in senior project lab. We have a research conference next Friday, and I have yet to make my poster...or gather any data for that matter. But Skoony says not to worry...we'll have enough. I'm kinda scared about it..i'm not good at explaining the stuff I'm working on yet. Eek!

Thursday night we had a girls nite out downtown which was a complete blast!! We sang at the top of our lungs and danced the night away. I love my girls, and if it wasn't for them, I would not get through my heartbreaks as easily. Let's hope there won't be another one any time soon. Guys are meanO. We also saw Dr. Schoonover at Macarthys with some other pchem people. Definitely good times. This dirty guy, Craig bought me a drink and offered free dinner rom Spikes, but Rachel and I felt dirty just trying to go get free food from him. Funny thing, we saw him last nite riding his bike downtown...hahaha...

Last night was also very fun, and I don't know how I managed to drink again...haha. Today I worked 1-9, and attempted my take home pchem exam which was NOT easy. It pretty much pissed me off, but at least I got something done. I came home and for once all I am going to do is sit and relax with myself. I just finished watching Garden State, and working on my poster for the research conference. It's been an okay night...just missing my "good feeling."

All I need in life is Briggs and Rauscher. . . hahahahahahaaaaaa

"Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you."

Girls Night Out - "I will survive!!!"

I got my Helya and my Bud Light and I'm the happiest girl in the world!! HAHAHA YAY for Skoony.

Jimmy Eat World

Songs worthy of being written down at this point in time. . .

Drugs or Me

Stay with me
You're the one I need
You make the hardest things seem easy

Keep my heart
Somewhere drugs don't go
Where the sunshine slows
Always keep me close

If only you could see
The stranger next to me
You promise, you promise that you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

Don't let go
We'll dig a great big hole
Down an endless hole
We'll both go

You're so blind
You can't save me this time
Hope comes from inside
And I feel so low tonight

I wish that you could see
This face in front of me
You're sorry, you swear it, you're done
But I can't tell you from the drugs

Take me, I need your hand
So far, To pull me up
Take everything, out from me
So far, out from me.

23

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry everyday
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live. . . no stop this

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?

I'm here and now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
One thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

Tri-State Visit

Last weekend I went to Idaho to surprise my grandparents. When I got there, they had no idea, and were floored!! I got to play with my little cousins, Theo and Claire, who were a blast, and I gained 3 pounds because all we did was eat all day long. :) Mom and I went to see "Guess Who" with Ashton Kucher, which was really cute. It was really nice to see that part of the family again. I hadn't been to Idaho in years! Everything was pretty much the same, but it was nice being part of the "adult" conversations this time. Saturday we flew to Reno and drove to Lake Tahoe to celebrate my cousins 14th birthday. with chinese food. We had a chance to walk around some of the new shops at stateline, and stayed the night at embassy suites. Sunday was Michael's catholic confirmation. It was definitely interesting (and tiring) sitting through a catholic service for two hours. The bishop repeated everything he said in spanish because their congregation is about 80% spanish-speaking. We had a nice little party for Michael afterwards with tons of good food and margaritas. We drove back to Vacaville that night and I flew back to SLO Monday morning just in time for class.

This week has been so busy trying to get my life back in order after being gone for 4 days. I've had assignments due, tests, scholarship to apply for, and other small things that just took up all of my time. Tuesday night I did have a chance to go out to pint nite which was fun as usual. Thursday was spent at Jon's house doing pchem homework for hours and hours until midnight crept around and my eyes couldn't handle any more symbols and numbers, and I just gave up.

This weekend has been not that great. Friday night, Josh and I made fondue which was absolutely delicious! Then we went out to Mother's and the Library. It was an ok night. Something was missing though. . different feelings I guess. . . .Saturday I went to Splash cafe with Joanna and then all the roomies went to see "A lot like love" with Ashton Kucher once again. What a CUTE romantic comedy. Today I slept in, went to lunch with Heatherbug to Cisco's and we were entertained by Piano Man and then Heather got shit on. We walked around downtown for a bit which was nice, but this heavy, numb, feeling hasn't escaped me yet. Now, I'm trying to concentrate and do my surface chem homework but I'm finding it rather difficult. John Mayer is keeping me company...la la la...

"It's kinda about the bliss period in a relationship. Like that first week in a relationship. . .the free movie weekend period. When you show all your best films. You meet them and you say stuff to them like, 'I'm a great listener, im there for my friends,' you know, you start telling them all about yourself. . . and you're showing them like schindlers list, and they're showing you, you know..whatever. . .but you're showing each other your big movies, and then all of a sudden, somewhere along the lines, it becomes Weekend at Bernie's 2, or the Police Academy movies, it's a real shame. So yeah, this song is about that bliss period in a relationship, and its about that bliss period taking place in New York City and how much fun that must be." - John Mayer about City Love

Life

Life is good. Spring quarter is in full swing, and so far it's not too terrible. I shouldn't say that yet because first assignments, lab reports, and midterms are coming up fast! I definitely haven't been studying as much as I should, thanks to someone always distracting me ;) hehe, I love it! I've also been downtown waaaay too much, spending too much money, but OH WELL..im having a great time, and still getting done what I need to get done.

Josh and I went to see Sin City, which was really good. I definitely recommend it. It was pretty disgusting at times, but overall a well made, entertaining movie with lots of good actors. The color effects were my favorite part. Josh continues to put a smile on my face! It's sorta amazing how we get along so well, and we aren't sick of each other yet. We definitely have a great time together, even just sitting around or doing homework :) YAY I love having someone around to make me happy every day! My Alfie. ;) AND we've seen each other every day since we met almost a month ago..thats a record. ahh im such a goober.

Last weekend I went to see STOMP in Pasadena with Rachel and Joanna and RachO's Mom. (btw..Your mom is packed) Anyway, the show was incredible, even for the fourth time! I think its my favorite show EVER. I even got to sleep in a king size water bed all to myself! Woot woot!

Thursday I leave for Idaho to go visit the grandparents with my mom and step dad and brother. It may be the last time I see Grandpa because he isn't doing too well. :( I haven't been up to Idaho to visit in YEARS! Then I'm flying into Reno and staying with my aunt for a night. Then back to Sacramento and SLO on Monday just in time for class. It's going to be a busy weekend, but it will be nice visiting with everyone. PLUS I love flying.

Yeah I'm bored at work...and I did as much HW as I could for one night. OUT!