New Blog!

I started new blog for the new year. Click on the title "New Blog" or go here:

TwentyThree

I'm a College Graduate!

Woot woot!! School's...out...for...ever!!!!! and don't be a jerkoff and say, "what about grad school?" Just let me soak up this happiness without your pessimism. :) Anyway....so I'm done with my undergrad career, except for writing my senior project, and getting my diploma. Don't worry, I'll finish it soon. Graduation weekend was AMAZING. My family came to town Friday afternoon. My mom, step dad, little brother Philip, Aunt Cathy, Uncle Richard, Cousin Michael, Aunt Lisa, Uncle Brian and their two daughters Charisma and Serene, and my lovely Grandpa stayed at the Apple Farm and we hung out and had some wine, and headed to dinner at Mothers. Our dinner was fantastic and it was a lot of fun hanging out with my family again. Later that night I drove to Pismo Beach to see my dad, step mom, step sister, her husband, their daughter, and my older brother Ryan. We just visited and then Ryan and I went to Joanna's graduation party. I was feeling pretty sick so we didn't stay too long. Saturday I woke up feeling worse, so I called my family and told them I had to sleep all day. My mom went wine tasting and my dad went ATVing. Sucks to be me. Katie came to the rescue and we went to Jamba Juice to make me feel better. Finally I started coming around so we went to the ceremony where it was a little stressful trying to get organized and make sure everyone was there. Finally, we heard the graduation processional music and my heart started beating fast! THIS WAS IT!!!! I sat next to my dear friends Tylia, Michelle, and Shannon. It was so nice having all of my family and wonderful friends cheering me on!! Thanks Rach, Heather, and Jessica for coming! And THANKS Katie for being my personal assistant all weekend!!

After the ceremony we took pictures and I went to Applefarm for some champagne and snacks and presents!!!!!!!! I was so shocked at how generous and loving everyone was!!! I guess I shouldn't be shocked, but I am so spoiled, and I felt like a princess!!! I went to Pismo again to hang out with Dad for a little bit and I got more presents for my birthday this time. HOooRAY!

Everyone met at dinner at the Custom House in Avila Beach. It was soooo nice, and we had the biggest table I've ever seen!! My favorite people came to eat, and I hardly sat down. I mingled and talked with everyone and took pictures with my new camera! I got the filet mignon and some wine. Whoooeee so dilectible!! My parents are sooo freaking nice. They made everything so special and are the most generous people I've ever met. I couldn't ask for a better family. I already miss them all!!!

So, where do you think we went after dinner? DT! Rachel, drunken Helya, Timo, and my brother all went to drink at Rachel's house and walked to Mission. We met up with Shannon, Tylia, and Joanna and danced like the freaks that we are. We went to the bar and I told some guy that I just graduated and he offered to get me a drink, so I looked over at Helya and she goes, "Yeah! I did too!" and then Rachel came over, "oh right, I just graduated also!" So we got three jager blasters! YAY! We were only there for about an hour when it was time to go, so we walked all the way to Joanna's house, and then decided to go cuddle with RachO instead. We aren't sure what happened to Helya...dun dun dun! Rachel spooned Tim while he spooned me..it was magical. hahahahaha. My brother fell asleep with a beer in his hand in Rachel's desk chair. At 4:30am, I was sober enough to drive home, so we left, while Ryan was all mad that he left his sweatshirt at Rachel's even though he didn't...he is such a funny drunk.

Sunday I went to Breakfast Buzz with my dad and step mom and brother. We said our goodbyes and I went and picked Brian up from Applefarm to take him to the airport so I got to say goodbye to Lisa and the girls. SO CUTE! The rest of the day was spent sleeping!! My favorite!!! I was still feeling sick so it was nice to just relax after a very fun and busy weekend!

I applied to NYU, Boston University, and WUSTL on Friday. I will be applying to Columbia at a later date because it costs too much to apply right now and it isn't due until January. NYU is my #1 choice because it has the most fitting program for me. I also had the opportunity to speak with the director of the program (Science and Environmental Reporting) and he was very very nice and encouraging. Only 30 people apply, and 15 get accepted. I am also applying like 5 months early, so I think I have a good chance. I got my GRE writing score back and I got a 5.5/6 which blew my mind! I think I've found my niche. Yeah I know, I can't speak for anything, but apparently I can write. Also, one of my English professors who wrote me a recommendation letter went to NYU for creative writing, and she also helped me with my application essay. It just seems like there are so many things adding up, heading towards something great!!!! Cross your fingers for me!!!

As for now, I'm still working at EAS, and I'll be going home for Christmas on my birthday, next Tuesday night. I'm coming back the day after Christmas to work some more, but then Rach and I are taking a road trip to SF to visit Kara and celebrate NEW YEARS! It's going to be a blast!!

This year has definitely been a rollercoaster, but I have learned sooo much!! I can't wait to see what is in store for me in 2006! My very first blog was back in January, whereI explained that I wanted to document the things that happened to me over my 22nd year on this earth. I can't believe it is already December again, and now I have to start from the beginning! It's a great feeling having graduated from college, and moving on with my life. Its funny how so much has changed, and some things happened that I never expected to happen, but life is good, and I am so happy!!!!! Good luck to everyone else graduating, and moving...I will miss you all, but I'll be in SLO for a while longer, so come visit!!! Rach, Helya, Jess, Tim, Heather...I'm available any day after 5 and every weekend to play. Let me know when you guys don't have homework or tests...muaah ha ha ha ha :) My favorites!!!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR ALL OF YOUR LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elfin Forest

Saturday was my first trip to the Elfin Forest in Los Osos. It is a really cool preserved area, where a boardwalk guides you to different scenic points. Then you can adventure offroad through a miniature forest drenched with lichen and unique flowers. This picture shows some wetlands, the tops of the Elfin trees, Morro Rock and the ocean with a beautiful, sugary sky. Tim went here on a field trip for his biology class and learned about the different plants and animals that live in this type of ecosystem. There were all kinds of people there painting, dog walking, jogging, or just hanging out. I definitely want to go back when there's more sunlight. It's nice to appreciate where we live, and learn about new places! :)

Almost done!

Graduation is in 22 days!!

To do by graduation:
-Black theatre quiz Monday
-Drugs and Poisons midterm Tuesday
-mail graduation annoucenments
-Tahoe for Thanksgiving Wed-Fri
-web page for D&P
-two finals

To do sometime in December:
-Senior project write up
-Grad school essays/finish applications
-find a new home
-christmas shopping

I love Cal Poly....but im outta here suckas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update

I got hired full time at EAS starting January 1. I will get benefits and better pay. YAY! Now I can stay in SLO a little longer with all of my friends.

I've started applications for NYU, Boston University, Columbia University, and MIT for science journalism. I am also going to be applying to Washington University in St. Louis for chemistry. I have spoken with the directors from NYU and Columbia and they were very helpful and encouraging. There are only 15 people accepted to NYU and 6 to Columbia...so I need everyone to cross your fingers for me. :) I can't wait to start something new and exciting!!

Oh, and I'm going to Tahoe for Thanksgiving with my grandpa to my aunts house...and my brother will be there too!

One more good thing: my aunt and cousin from Georgia might come to my graduation. So far there's like 15 people coming!!! YAY! I ordered graduation announcements 2 weeks ago so I should be getting them soon. WOW this is a great feeling :)

Wishlist: new car, laptop, diamond ring

haha that list is almost funny.

Happy Halloweiner

This weekend was kicked off with a lovely trip to the Avila Barn with Kara and Rach to pick out our pumpkins. There were so many, we were overwhelmed but we finally found the perfect ones. We went to farmers market afterwards and I inhaled a huge burrito, then visited Helya at work, and met up with Joanna, Tylia, and drunken Tim with his huge octoberfest glass.

Friday I went with Tim to help him pick out a Halloween Costume in AG, and we found this little kid's spiderman costume which was absolutely hilarious. It was a bit small, so he didn't wear it out but it was worth it just for shits and giggles. Sejal was in town, so we went over to Helya's and smoked some Hookah and TimO came to be our hero and take us to Mothers, what a nice chap! Friday night was the best EVER and we danced and sang California Love. We made our way to MacCarthy's and met up with Jessica and Dr. Schoonover and friends. It was an interesting night to say the least, and Jess drove me safely home. Thank YOU! And thanks to Tim for my potato bread for breakfast...haha...


Saturday was the pumpkin carving party, so I dragged myself out of bed and went to Shannon's house. I carved a beautiful creation with lots of my lovelies. I love my friends.

Saturday night we all got dressed up in our costumes and went to Rachel's to drink beforehand. Timo was an old school tennis pro, I was a bumble bee, Rachel and Kara were hookers, Heather was a sexy witch, Alissa was an Incredible, Ryan was a gangster skater, and his friends were cute people. We drove to Mr. Rick's in Avila because we heard it was supposed to bepretty cool, but it didn't look very cool, so we drove back to Mothers, where we are rarely let down.

Mother's was pretty fun and we saw lots of funny costumes. Tim was showing off all of his sweet dance moves, and my balls kept hitting his face. At midnite, we got tired because we suck at life, and poor Timo was at the "height of his rage" and we made him leave anyway.

Sunday, Kara and Rachel tried calling us to go to breakfast at 830am, which was NOT a good idea, so ya, we missed breakfast :) Tim and I drove all over town looking for lunch, and then watched Mean Girls with Rachel and Kara...it was quaint and cozy. Later that nite, Helya, Rachel, Kara, Brie and I went to see Prime with Uma Thurman and some cute guy. It was girly and made me giggle a bit, but the moral of the story: don't date younger guys, and guys, don't date girls 16 years older than you...it just won't work out.

On Halloween, Dr. Schoonover, Jess and I prepared four pumpkins for an explosion extravaganza. We had one with green smoke coming out of it, one with fire coming out of its eyes that popped two hydrogen balloons, one that didn't quite work, and the last one which exploded all over into a million pieces. YAY it was so much fun!!! At night, Tim and I watched The Exorcist which was absolutely disgusting and scary, but I had someone to protect me :)

Thanks to everyone who helped make this weekend so much fun! I needed it!!! An update to my plans for school/work is coming soon..so stay tuned...

Graduating in...

... 47 days! Wow, that seems like a lot...I feel much better now. YAY.

Upcoming events:

• Halloween (all weekend)! Special pumpkin explosion halloween crazy fest 2005-Monday, 6:15. I'm going to be a cute bumble bee :)

• House/dog sitting November 4-6. Two really cute, lovey cocker spaniels, satellite tv, hot tub, and lots of time to study for the GRE. :)

• Ryan's bday Nov 11th (25!!) xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

• Going home to help Jillian pick out her wedding dress Nov 11-13th <3

• GRE test November 17th :(

• Thanksgiving Nov 24th...who is going to feed me??? :-/

• Black Theatre Final December 6th

• Drugs and Poisons Final December 9th

• GRADUATION December 10th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• MY 23rd Birthday December 20th

• Arctic Winter begins December 21st

• Christmas (you know the date)

• New Years

• Life begins.

Ideas for life in January 2006:

1. Stay in SLO and continue to work at EAS, granted I get a raise, and find a home.
   
2. Stay in SLO because I get a really cool, well paying job somewhere in the area, granted I find a home.
3. Stay in SLO because I love it here and get a random job like waitressing and/or stripping in order to pay rent at my new found home.
4. Stay in SLO, live on people's couches, mooch off their food, work at EAS for $9/hr, and call it a day.
   
5. Move somewhere else in California wherever a degree-bearing person gets a job.
6. Move home and work somewhere lame in Vacaville, but live rent free.
7. Move to New Jersey because I get lucky and Revlon hires me as an analytical chemist.

Jobs I've applied for:

• Wildhorse Winery Chemist
  
• Pfizer Pharmaceutical Sales Rep
• Revlon Laboratory Chemist
• Amvac Chemical Corporation
• E & J Gallo Winery
  
• Amphastar Pharmaceuticals
  
• Fziomed
• Local watering-hole bar dancer
  

Ideas for life starting Aug. 2006:

1. Grad school for science journalism/science writing
• Boston University
• Colombia University
• NYU
• Northwestern University -Illinois
• University of Maryland
• Johns Hopkins University-Maryland
• University of Washington
2. Grad school for criminal justice/forensics
3. Grad school for Pharmacology or Toxicology
• University of Chicago-Illinois
  
4. Grad school for Chemistry
• Washington University-St. Louis
• Northeastern University-Boston
• Brandeis University-Boston
  
5. Teaching Credential

OKAY PEOPLE!! Give me some feedback please!! If you know of any companies that are chemistry/science related that may be hiring, please let me know!! If you have any information about grad school/the programs I've listed/or a cool new idea that you think I'd be great at, tell me!! If you would like me and my smallness to stay on your couch, just fill me in!! Or, just push my tush in the right direction...oh wise one.

Something's Missing

John Mayer- Something's Missing

(has this song come up in my blog before?)

I'm not alone.
I wish I was.
Cuz then I'd know
I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around,
To love me like they do right now.

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall.
I searched for joy, but I bought it all.
It doesn't help the hunger pangs,
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate.

Something's missing,
And I don't know how to fix it.
Something's missing,
And I don't know what it is.

When autumn comes,
It doesn't ask,
It just walks in where it left you last.
You never know when it starts,
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart.

I can't be sure that this state of mind is not of my own design.
I wish there was an over-the-counter test,
For loneliness.
For loneliness like this.

Something's different
And I don't know what it is.
Friends, check!
Money, check!
A well slept, opposite sex, check!
Guitar, check!
Microphone, check!
Messages waiting on me, when I come home, check!


My life really doesn't suck, this is just a good representation of the lack of stability I feel from day to day. However, don't feel sorry for me, or worry, because I'm feeling better. As soon as I realized that I'm mostly overdramatizing a lot of things in my life (besides the loss of my grandma), then I knew, "ohhh, so really, life is GOOD, and I am such a lucky girl!!" Slowly, I realize that and I need to start doing things for myself, instead of for others. I am such a giver, I always try to make everyone else happy, or proud of me. Maybe I should make myself proud of me. You say, "duh", but it has taken me a long time to come to this conclusion. Who cares if I don't make a ton of money, especially right out of college? As long as I am happy where I live, who I'm around, and where I work- that's more important than money. And I have a lot of friends who are offering their couches. They even said they'll PAY ME to stay in SLO! jk..I'm a dreamer. Who cares if I don't know for sure what I want to be when I grow up? It will come to me with experience and time, and trying different things because, hey, I CAN change my mind. My parents are going to be more proud of me once they know I am happy with myself. Yeah, they want me to live a good life, but with a degree, and these good looks, I'll be fine! ;) Who cares if I don't write my paper, or study for a midterm, or even finish my senior project?! HA! Just kidding, gotta do those things. But I realized today that sometimes school work calms me. I was telling a friend of mine that when I'm writing a paper, or working on a project, everything else in the world disapears and I feel good about myself. Just relax, I'll get everything done, I always do...and with pizazz and greatness!! Who cares if I don't have a "boyfriend?" At least I have someone around EVERY DAY who makes me feel special, taken care of, and happy. Sometimes you have to be patient with people you care about because everyone has gone through different life experiences that makes them who they are...but it doesn't mean they don't care about you, or want to be with you. Having a dramatic, complicated, bad relationship with a silly title is worse than having a really good friend who opens his arms to you, listens to you, and wants to spend his time with you. I need to just let it go. Life is good!

"I know a girl, she puts the color inside of my world"
(I like to think I am that girl.)

A Beautiful Life

My grandma, "Ladonna", passed away late Saturday night. She was fighting cancer for a couple of years, but no longer has to suffer. She died peacefully in her sleep, after a few rough months, staying in bed all day in her home in Lake Havasu, Arizona. I am grateful that she was able to be at home in her own bed and didn't have to experience a lot of pain and grief, but I will miss her terribly; she was my closest grandma. Last year my family asked her where she would like to go on vacation if she could go anywhere, and she picked San Luis Obispo to visit me. So, they came to visit last September right before school started and we had a great time at Hearst Castle, farmers market, and Apple Farm. I am sad for my grandpa because his first wife died of cancer right when I was born 23 years ago, and now he has to go through this again. I can't even imagine what he must be feeling. I haven't had to experience this sort of loss in my life yet, so it's hard to know how to react or how to feel. I've tried not thinking about it, but I'm flying there Friday morning to be with my family and rembering her wonderful life. I was driving to Monterey on highway 1 on Sunday after I heard the news, and it was the most beautiful day and the most spectacular, breathtaking views that I just knew that all of the gods and all of the angels above were celebrating a beautiful person, and welcoming her to a peaceful, happy place.

"If I could open my mouth wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off of the buildings"

I <3 YOU.

Sometimes I just need to embrace the happy things in life...





happy and striking a pose








I LOVE....
- Days when I don't have to put on make-up
- Cuddling up in the "nook"
- Eating cookie dough straight out of the package
- Talking to my brother on the phone
- Watching Sex and the City and coming across a new episode
- Hearing encouraging things from people you look up to
- Walking around campus listening to my ipod
- New favorite songs
- Going grocery shopping
- Reading my friends' blogs as well as their away messages
- Eating barbequed steak
- Spontaneously driving somewhere, anywhere
- Doing nice things for people to make them smile
- Taking bubble baths
- Having my hair and face touched and touching cheeks
- Seeing my favorite people's faces show up on my camera phone when they call
- Hearing my mom say she is proud of me
- Getting text messages
- Guys who dress really quaint
- Online conversations with RachO about riduculous, and usually dirty things
- Saying cute people's names with an "O" at the end
- "Your Mom" jokes
- Listening to people get excited about things in their life and watching their expressions
- Dancing and singing as loud as I can
- Wearing the same flip flops so long that they conform to my feet
-Tap dancing. Shuffle step flap hop stomp toe heel toe heel tippity TAP!
- Realizing I can do anything I want with my life, because hey I'm only 22 and I'm about to get a degree in Chemistry, and it's all mine, and maybe I am smart afterall.

This is LOVE.
I roll the window down, and then begin to breathe.
The darkest country road, with a strong scent of evergreen,
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.
Then looking upwards, I strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat as you are driving me home.
"Do they collide?" I ask and you smile.
And my feet on the dash, the world doesn't matter.
When you feel embarrassed, I'll be your pride.
When you need direction, I'll be the guide.
For all time. For all time.